ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO NS
1. Save all Tim Hortons trays. You will be instructed later on how to use them.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don’t panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don’t try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
3. Remember: We say please and thank you a lot. Men also nod their heads at everyone they walk by and women smile. We are just nice like that.
4. Get used to the phrase “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”. And the collateral phrase “You call this hot? Wait’ll August.”
5. Don’t tell us how they do it in Toronto. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it’s too hot in the Summer, don’t worry it’ll only last for 2 months.
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Tractor, a truck, a skidoo or a 4 wheeler is.
8. If someone says they’re “fixin” to do something, that doesn’t mean anything’s broken.
9. If you don’t understand French, don’t worry. Neither do the French people.
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two-lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called “courtesy”, if you don’t understand this, reconsider moving to a ruder province.
11. Moose season must be taken into consideration for weddings, funerals, and divorces. Don’t plan ANYTHING on these days
12. Donairs. That’s it. That’s all.
13. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
14. Prepare to use your heater, air conditioner, bug spray, sunscreen and blanket all within an hour.
15. “No, yeah” means yes and “yeah, no” means no.
16. The index finger is used to wave from the steering wheel to everyone you pass on the road.
17. Poker runs, in the summer on 4 wheelers and boats, in the winter on snowmobiles.
18. There is a Lions club 50/50 at any event that draws a crowd.
19. Everyone’s father probably met their mudder at the legion.